Change is everywhere in our lives. From the moment we are born to the moment we die, we are nothing but masses of constant change. Our cells are changing, our minds change consistently, and ultimately our circumstances. Change is as inevitable as the sunrise every morning. So, if change is so constant in our lives, why is it so hard to face it? My life has been a continuous change. Some big, some small, but change has always been there for me.
The biggest change in my life, came when I was 11 years old. I was born in Cuba and lived there all my life. Due to the government conditions and in the search of a better future, my mom and all my maternal family migrated to the United States. Although I now see this change as positive, back then I was terrified. Not only would I have to leave my country and life as I knew it at the time, I also had to leave my dad and all my dad’s side of the family. I was sad, I was angry, I even retaliated a little bit at the time. But against my will, we embarked on a new journey to the United States on November 26, 1995. My life in the US was relatively good. Aside from the gruesome adaptation process; not speaking the language, not fitting in, and learning to live without half of my family; I had a pretty decent upbringing. My mom and stepdad worked long hours to provide everything they could for me. Thank you guys!
Another huge change in my life was when I started college. Due to the fact I was an immigrant, I was always afraid people were going to make fun of me when I spoke English. Because of this, I only settled for a small group of Cuban immigrant friends who had similar backgrounds. Although safe, this was extremely limiting. The fear of change and the unknown was so big, that I spent most of middle and high school years not participating in half of the things I really wanted to be involved in. I always wanted more, I wanted to participate, I wanted to break free. Once I started college, I couldn’t hide behind the shadow of my friends anymore. I had a completely different major, and I had to be on my own. Scary right?! Not quite. My college years ended up being the most liberating years of my life. I learned to speak up. I learned to grow a thicker skin and I grew a new sense of confidence on myself. After college, came corporate life. I thrived in that department. I was confident, I was witty, and I was smart. Doors opened up for me and I felt the sky was the limit.
When I was 24 and a young executive, I met a boy. It was lust at first sight. We were inseparable and soon, we were spending almost every free hour together. This led to moving in (in a very short time) and pregnancy (whoa!). We made the decision to keep the baby as we both felt ready and decided to get married. So, in a period of 3 months, I met a guy, married him, handled a house, and was expecting a baby. Talk about a 180 degree turn of events. The first year was rough as we were both dealing with change. We were getting to know each other, while I was experiencing hormonal mood swings and constant changes in my body. Stressful was an understatement. We got a dog, bought a house, and welcomed our baby girl by the end of that year. Things became somewhat stable for another year, but when I changed jobs in 2011, another set of problems arose, and we ended up divorcing a year later. So there I was, not only did I have to endure the pain of a divorce and starting over, I had to endure it with a child, a dog, and a mortgage.
Being a single mom is not an easy task. You are responsible for another human being that, in my case, I have to co-parent with someone whose views are completely different than mine. You somehow have to make things work. You have to smile even when you’re sad and get up and hustle when you just want to crawl in the darkest hole on earth and disappear. Dating becomes an issue as you don’t want to bring too many men home and you pray that the one you do end up bringing home, will love your child and not be a psycho.
From, my prior post, you already know that I lost my job when I was 30. Right when the backlash of the divorce was ending and I had begun to stand on my two feet. Right around this time, I started my company and life as an entrepreneur began. For more information on how that’s going check out “Fired at 30! Real Life Story on How I became an Entrepreneur”
I am 35 years old now and life is changing for me again. I am not only starting to feel some of the effects of aging (slower metabolism, putting on extra fat, body pain, etc.); my professional and personal life are taking a major turn. Right when I thought I was ready to settle, BOOM, here I am at a major crossroads. Sometimes I feel like someone up there conspires with my happiness and every time things seem to be going right, they pull the rug from under me and shake things for me. They say God gives his greatest battels to his best soldiers, but man, I am growing tired. So, although scary, here I am, facing it. I don’t know where this is going to lead, but I am welcoming it. I know this cant be it, I know there is more. Maybe I am not meant to be stagnant. Maybe I am meant to keep moving and just leave footprints as I go.
So, I leave you with a little insight of my life. And now I wonder, are any of you experiencing going through some major change? If so, how are you dealing with it? If you are, know you’re not alone and this too shall pass. Please leave me a comment or email me your stories at email@example.com. Would love to read them and maybe get inspired by them.
Let’s catch up soon!